The Pedagopticon is a revolutionary new technology that allows educators to do away with outdated methods of discipline and punishment. Fusing traditional optical equipment (eye, camera lens) with the latest in high-tech gear (digital camera, web linked connectivity), the 'Pedagopticon' is the future of teaching. It was once said that seasoned teachers had 'eyes in the back of their head.' Well, the scientists at 'technology is the devil' have taken this adage and made it real. Now, you can have eyes everywhere! No corner of your classroom is out of your gaze. The 'Pedagopticon' offers a full 360 degrees of monitoring, all viewed with ease on the patented teacher 'pod-eye-um'. No more tedious scanning for hands eager to complete your thought! No more talk of 'proximity' or 'engagement.' With the "Pedagopticon," you just sit back and let the images come to you. Pedagopticon: We put the "eyes" in instruction! (This piece is satire; although the references point to the fact that, while the technologies described are fantasy, the mechanisms behind them are all too real. The author would like to thank the organizers of the 2004 New Forms Festival, Vancouver, BC, for the opportunity to perform this paper as part of the conference.)


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